“My imagination at ten years old didn’t have the capacity to grasp what had taken away the happiness of the refugees.”

As a young child, the author does not have the life experience or perspective to envision the types of brutality and psychological terror that traumatized the refugees who pass through his home village. He is aware that they are physically weakened and starving; many of the refugees told stories of the slaughter of their relatives. The victims refuse the offer of shelter by the villagers because they are certain that the war will come to this area, too. This concept is too abstract for the author to grasp as a child. Moreover, it reflects the extent to which Ishmael is sheltered prior to the rebel attack on his village.

“These days I live in three worlds: my dreams, and the experiences of my new life, which trigger memories from the past.”

The writer intersperses flashbacks with scenes from his life as a boy soldier in Sierra Leone. He recalls participating in the slaughter of two groups of young boys upon one occasion, and the “high fives” exchanged by his unit afterwards. He fears sleep and nightmares and hopes to restore his sense of joyful anticipation of life during the daylight hours; however, he experiences flashback reactions during everyday activities. In an extraordinarily evocative description of PTSD, Ishmael is stuck in a feedback loop between his memories, his dreams, and his present.