One of the memoir’s main themes is the stark difference Chua sees between Chinese and Western parenting techniques and the tension this causes in her family. Chua suggests that Chinese parents have stricter standards for their children that enable better results in their careers and lives: “Chinese parents can order their kids to get straight As. Western parents can only ask their kids to try their best” (51). Chua portrays the relationship between a Chinese parent and child as similar to a contract in which both sides understand the lifetime expectation of the terms and conditions, whereas American parents are more focused on their role in their children’s lives before the child turns 18. Chua’s Chinese American model also reflects different expectations depending on the generation of immigration; first- and second-generation Chinese Americans more acutely feel the impact of generational trauma, while third-generation Chinese Americans are more likely to benefit from generational wealth and cultural assimilation.

In Chua’s model, a Chinese parent is more invested in their child’s long-term happiness, while an American parent is more invested in their child’s short-term happiness. Chua prides herself on her distinction from her peers: “[M]y Western friends who consider themselves strict make their children practice their instruments thirty minutes a day” (8), whereas she makes her girls practice for six hours daily.