Bottled Up

Published in 2003, Bottled Up is a young adult contemporary realistic novel by author and social worker, Jaye Murray. The story follows high-schooler Phillip “Pip” Downs who relies on drugs and alcohol to get him through the school day and help him cope with his alcoholic father. As the novel progresses, Pip learns that while he cannot fix his dysfunctional parents, he can take responsibility for himself, be a positive role model for his little brother, Mikey, and achieve the peace he desires. Bottled Up is Murray’s debut novel.

Pip, the first-person narrator of the book, lets the reader know he wants nothing more than to check out of the life he feels trapped in. Only pot and liquor take enough of the edge off to help him “get by.” With his long blonde hair, untied shoes, and tie-dyed shirts, Pip even looks the part of the wiseass druggie. He floats through school, getting high and drinking between classes. He has a little crush on good-girl Jenna with her kind smile. His friends, Slayer and Johnny also abuse drugs, and Johnny is becoming a dealer. Johnny wants Pip to deal, but Pip just wants to get high.

Pip’s life changes when his English teacher kicks him out of class and orders him to the principal’s office. Pip decides to use this unexpected “free period” to smoke a joint, but he eventually sees Principal Giraldi. Telling Pip that he needs to make good choices and learn that his actions have repercussions, Giraldi gives Pip an ultimatum: attend all his classes and go to counseling after school, or Giraldi will call his father and expel him. Pip knows that if Giraldi calls his father, Pip will be “dead.” Giraldi lets Pip know that he is “standing at a crossroads.”



Michael Downs, Pip’s father is a physically and verbally abusive alcoholic and has been that way since Pip can remember. Pip shares brief flashbacks of childhood memories marred by his father’s emotional cruelty, saying “one minute he wants to play a game then the next you are game.” Pip thinks of his father as the Grinch, smirking rather than smiling. His father is a “make-your-family-scared-to-death-of-you” kind of drunk. Pip keeps his emotions inside, “bottled up,” and does not talk about his family to anyone. Pip’s mother, Eve, is distant and tired and does not stand up to her husband. Pip eventually learns that she is abusing Valium.

Pip’s six-year-old brother, Mikey, looks up to Pip. Mikey doesn’t understand his father’s anger and all the yelling that goes on. Pip calls Mikey “Bugs” because the younger boy constantly bugs him with questions. Pip begins to understand that he is a negative influence on his brother. Mikey wants to hang out with him, to try his cigarettes, and even sticks his hand in Pip’s bag of weed and licks it to see what it tastes like. Pip realizes that in ten years, Mikey will turn out just like him and his dad. This doesn’t make Pip change. He goes to a party with Slayer and Johnny that ends with a fight, and the police driving Pip home.

During a drunken rage, Pip’s father punches him hard in the eye and threatens Mikey. Pip and Mikey lock themselves in the garage, spending the night there. The next day, no one says anything. Pip’s father hands Pip twenty dollars and gives flowers to his mother as an apology.



At school, a long-term substitute, Mr. Kirkland, takes over for Pip’s English teacher. He is the first teacher to have concern and respect for Pip. He assigns the book Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and Pip thinks the main character is a lot like his dad. Mr. Kirkland tells Pip, “You’re in control of you.”

Pip realizes that if Giraldi follows through with his threat to call home and expel him, his father might also hurt Mikey or his mother. He goes to see the counselor, Claire Butler. Claire asks Pip what he wants out of life, and Pip struggles to answer. He says his life sucks, but he doesn’t want to change.

Pip also must attend group therapy sessions. The other teens in the group, Mark, Darius, Paco, and Anthony share what they want out of life: respect, security, becoming a fireman. They encourage Pip to be honest with them. But Pip, feeling that he has been blackmailed into therapy, gives smartass answers to their and Claire’s questions. Claire tells him if he stopped keeping everything bottled up inside, he would feel better. The other boys urge Pip to stay away from his friends who use drugs.



One night, Pip is busted for driving Johnny’s mother’s car without a license. The same policeman takes Pip home and this time his father is waiting for him. Pip’s father has been drinking and furiously gives Pip a drunken driving lesson, telling Pip, “This is who you are and who you’ll always be.” His father continues to have violent outbursts. Pip learns that his grandfather was abusive to his father. Slayer and Johnny are arrested for drug possession with intent to sell.

Mikey is growing angrier with Pip, telling him that he is “just like Daddy.” After smoking a joint, Pip forgets to pick Mikey up after school. When he gets there, Mikey is gone and the area is filled with police. Mikey had stolen his father’s Scotch bottles and was throwing them up into the air when one landed on his head. Mikey is in the hospital with a concussion and lacerations. Mikey’s accident is a wake-up call for Pip. Pip feels it is his fault and that he has been a bad big brother.

Pip finally understands what he wants out of life: peace. He can watch over Mikey and be a better brother. He can get clean and sober and fix himself, even if he can’t change his parents.