As the title of the chapter suggests, Lembke begins by discussing the ethical imperative to be honest versus becoming conditioned to lie. She mentions that lying may have some adaptive advantage but that people don’t live in the same world as their ancient ancestors—and lying carries more risk than it would have had for them. Lembke tells the story of her patient Maria, who was recovering from alcoholism. In addition to lying about her alcohol use, Maria lied about most things in her life. She successfully gained sobriety through Alcoholics Anonymous, where she learned the true value of being honest. As a result, Maria started to transform into a far more honest person; rather than lying being her way of life, honesty was. Lembke moves on to discuss how honesty begins with one’s awareness of one’s problems. One can’t take proper measures to abstain from problematic behaviors without first recognizing and accepting that one has them. Naturally, denial factors into self-reflection, and Lembke discusses this in detail, using a study of gamblers to illustrate the mechanism of denial.

The author proceeds to make the case that honesty is foundational to intimate human relationships. She mentions that intimacy releases oxytocin, a hormone that triggers

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