Perry’s lifelong addiction to alcohol and drugs provided his primary motivation for writing Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing. Believing that he survived this experience to help others, the author attempts to define addiction and how it works. He also describes the devastating effects of substance use. While the book is dedicated to others living with addiction, it provides insight into the subject that will be relevant for a wide audience.

The author clearly distinguishes between people, like himself, who have alcohol addictions and “normies”—people who drink but do not feel compelled to do it all the time. His characterization of people without addictions as “normies” serves to establish a bond between Perry and those of his readers who have experienced struggles similar to his own. Perry initially realizes that he has an alcohol addiction by comparing his alcohol consumption to those around him. For example, he notices that while his father and friend Bruce Willis consume large amounts of alcohol, they also have an “on-off button” and can stop when it suits them (151). Perry defines this difference in straightforward terms: “Bruce was a partier; I was an addict” (151).