51 pages 1 hour read

Adele Faber

How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

Nonfiction | Book | Adult | Published in 1980

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Important Quotes

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“Living with real children can be humbling. Every morning, I would tell myself, ‘Today is going to be different,’ and every morning was a variation of the one before.”


(Part 1, Chapter 1, Page 1)

The authors reflect on the gap between idealistic expectations and the often-challenging reality of parenting. They acknowledge the repetitive nature of daily struggles with children, illustrating how even with the best intentions, parents can find themselves caught in a cycle of frustration and unmet goals. The use of personal experience and candid admission serves to connect with readers on an emotional level, emphasizing the humbling and unpredictable nature of raising children. The authors effectively capture the universal experience of parents who strive for better days, only to face the familiar challenges of routine.

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“I’ve since learned that my reaction was not that unusual. I could be very accepting about most of the feelings the children had, but let one of them tell me something that made me angry or anxious and I’d instantly revert to my old way.”


(Part 1, Chapter 1, Page 3)

The authors delve into the common parental challenge of emotional triggers, highlighting how difficult it can be to maintain composure when a child’s words provoke strong feelings of anger or anxiety. They reveal the natural tendency to revert to less effective, habitual responses despite efforts to change. By sharing this personal insight, the authors emphasize the complexity of emotional regulation in parenting, illustrating how even well-intentioned parents can struggle with consistency when their own emotions are at stake. This reflection highlights the importance of self-awareness and patience in the process of becoming a more empathetic and responsive parent.