54 pages 1 hour read

Leil Lowndes

How To Talk To Anyone

Nonfiction | Book | Adult | Published in 1998

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Part 5

Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Part 5: “How to Sound Like You’re Peas in a Pod: ‘Why, We’re Just Alike!’”

Part 5, Chapter 44 Summary: “How to Make Them Feel You’re of the Same ‘Class’”

People are more likely to feel comfortable and establish rapport with those they perceive as similar to themselves, be it in beliefs or movements. One study demonstrated that couples who believed they shared similar beliefs liked each other more than those who thought they were different, regardless of the truth. This predisposition toward similarity is not only limited to beliefs but unspoken cues like movement. Imitating someone’s style of movement—a technique called “Copyclass”—can create a subliminal sense of comfort and familiarity, making others more receptive to interaction.

Part 5, Chapter 45 Summary: “How to Make Them Feel That You’re Like ‘Family’”

“Echoing” comprises mirroring another person’s choice of language to create familiarity. The technique involves listening to specific words and repeating these words in one’s own conversation. This builds subliminal rapport, making people feel like one shares their experiences and values. When one interacts with people from different professions, using their jargon (whether regional dialects, job-related terms, or hobby-related terms) helps build trust. Echoing is not only an effective sales tactic but “politically correct insurance” (180), helping one exhibit sensitivity in various social and professional contexts.