“Call me Tod.

Okay, no, I’m just kidding. That’s the first line of Moby Dick, all right? I always wanted to start a book like that. This is my first book, and I’m writing it for one reason only. Not for history and not for scientific research and definitely not to let out my inner demons. I’m doing it so I don’t have to pick up trash in the school courtyard like certain deviant so-called friends of mine who also got caught.

I am being reformed.”

Tod introduces himself and sets the tone for the novel. He is funny and sarcastic but also well-read, immediately disproving everyone who thinks he isn’t intelligent. Shulman hence constructs an unreliable narrator, since Tod knows about literature and has “always wanted” to write but refuses to admit that he is writing for any reason other than getting out of a punishment.

“The ribbon says ‘Congratulations,’ but who the hell knows why? Congratulations, you finally got a low-paying teaching job. Congratulations, you just got tenure in a school full of mouth-breathers who can’t spell ‘TV.’ Congratulations, you retired and didn’t die of boredom teaching the same idiocy to idiots who care less about what’s in your mind than what’s in your car. Congratulations, you just put your new plant on a baking-hot radiator in a room that overlooks a brick wall in a crappy part of town. Congratulations, we’re entrusting you with the mascot of our school. It’s a dead stick.”

Tod describes the detention classroom in an extremely negative way, revealing how he feels about school in general. He believes that it’s all a cheap farce that only he can see through. This characterizes his pessimism and also provides exposition for his low socioeconomic status, since he goes to a school with few resources in a deprived area.

“So, please let me explain here and now that today I am absolutely going to fill up the number of words I write upon these pages by using a lot of synonyms. That trick is exactly the same one that is used by rich people like lawyers and advertising people when they want to charge more for their advice. If I use a lot of short synonyms and adjectives and strings of similar words then I can be out of this delightful, beautiful, pleasant, joyful, garden-like room before the sun goes down on this lousy, gray, cold, depressing, crappy, terrible, ugly, meaningless, rotten, hurtful, lousy, miserable cold day.”

Once again Tod is showing how observant and intelligent he is while attempting to be petulant. Despite his skepticism about his own talent, he proves that he is a writer. Thus, this passage reads like an exercise in creativity, in addition to being an exercise in rebellion.