Thomas Erikson claims that “communication happens on the listener’s terms,” since information is always filtered through someone’s existing understanding and biases (Location 134). As such, the speaker only has so much control over how the listener receives their message. Erikson argues that to communicate effectively, people must adjust their behavior and speaking style to the preferences of the listener. He questions the conventional wisdom to “treat others as you want to be treated,” since everyone is an individual with their own unique preferences; Erikson advises the reader to consider learning about others’ preferences and how one’s own actions are regarded by others (Location 176).

According to the author, categorizing people into broad personality categories can help others decide how to best communicate with them. Erikson asserts that everyone should be able to observe and understand others’ behavior and recognize the habitual patterns that they tend to follow. He encourages the reader to consider why others act the way that they do and develop their patience when dealing with others.

Everyone’s personality is influenced by inherited traits and their environment. Once people reach adulthood they generally have a set of core values and attitudes which inform their behavior.