“Everything you say to a person is filtered through his frames of reference, biases, and preconceived ideas. What remains is ultimately the message that he understands. For many different reasons, he can interpret what you want to convey in a totally different way than you intended.”

In this quotation, Thomas Erikson highlights how communication can easily go wrong, since what the speaker means may not be the message that the listener receives. He emphasizes that differing personality types, genders, cultural and generational backgrounds can all present challenges in communicating effectively. This introduces two central themes of the text: The Role of Self-Awareness in Communication and The Importance of Adaptability.

“I don’t think I will make headlines by saying that most people you meet aren’t like you. Words can have incredible power, but the words we choose and how we choose them vary [...] And when you use the wrong word, well, maybe then you’re an idiot.”

Erikson invites the reader to become more curious about how their actions and words are perceived by others in order to choose the right method of communication for the situation. While it is easy to judge others, Erikson encourages the reader to consider how others may be judging them as well, since everyone has a different personality and communication style.

“But some people are different. Some don’t care. They are always themselves because they’ve never reflected upon how they are perceived. The stronger your self-understanding is, the greater your probability of adapting to the other people around you.”

The author contrasts people who are “always themselves” with those who have considered how others perceive them and alter their behavior depending on who they are speaking to, reflecting The Role of Self-Awareness in Communication. This quotation shows how the author values efficacy over authenticity, as he recommends that people work to become more adaptable to different people and situations rather than always behaving naturally.