Individual relationships with gender identity verses societal expectations of gender norms play an important role in Riley’s coming out journey. Riley frequently adapts their mannerisms and speech patterns to match either the gender of whomever they are in the presence of, or the gender the other person perceives Riley to be. This causes internal conflict for Riley, especially when they are with multiple people at once, such as when Riley, Bec, and Solo attend a meeting at the Q together. Because Riley is so focused on the expectations of those around them, they are unable to fully listen to their internal compass and present themself however they want to.

The novel also demonstrates that Riley’s relationship with gender is not the only way to approach gender fluidity. Moreover, Riley’s perceptions of others’ genders are not always correct—their internal experience does not preclude them from making mistakes about the experiences of other people. Bec, Morgan, and Chris turn out not to be the genders Riley originally perceives them to be, and Riley feels hypocritical when catching themself making the same appearance-based assumptions they wish others would not impose upon them. Mike/Michelle Weston also plays with the gender binary, but in a different way from Riley.