Every single person needs to be loved; it is one of the most fundamental drives that human beings feel as a species. Countless psychological studies have confirmed what ancient philosophers and romantic comedies know alike: human beings naturally love and desire to be loved in return.

This basic drive to love and be loved is the origin of our emotional tank, the interior reservoir which needs to be filled by the love of another. When we don’t feel that our emotional tank is full, we can go looking for a means to fill it up in all the wrong places—we can lash out at others, we can be tempted to be unfaithful to our partners, we can end up in toxic relationships. The love languages are designed to help couples fill up each other’s tanks.

Social isolation is devastating. As relational and social creatures who thrive in community, we are made for human interaction and communication. Our need for connection is nuanced and complex.

In many instances, the choices that we make are based on our own experiences, needs, and desires.