Not long after Nelson and Dodge moved in together, they were “startled by some deep shadows” (30). Dodge’s mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, the custody of Nelson’s stepson was in dispute, and Dodge himself increasingly suffered pain as a result of constantly binding his chest. In an effort to make sense of the “hard season” her relationship was going through, Nelson began to research a literary couple—George and Mary Oppen—whose story she had always found romantic: “This wasn’t schadenfreude. It was hope” (34).

Meanwhile, Nelson and Dodge had decided to try to have a baby. Nelson discusses different theories of parenting and childhood development, including D. W. Winnicott’s claim that mothering requires simply “ordinary devotion” (21). The failure to provide such devotion is traumatic for a child, causing a sensation of “going to pieces / falling for ever / dying and dying and dying” (33). Winnicott acknowledges that providing such devotion can cause the mother to feel as though she herself is being “undone” (37). Fortunately, Nelson says, as an “old mom” she “had nearly four decades to become [her]self before experimenting with [her] obliteration” (37).

Nelson also discusses the idea of “cave research,” which attempts to think about mothering from the inside rather than through traditional objective theory.