Although Pippa only says, “Gabe is me” (233), once in the novel, this attitude is a motif that illustrates her perspective on their relationship for most of the novel. This motif traces Pippa’s character arc as she works to establish her own identity as separate from Gabe’s.

In the early chapters of the novel, Pippa is unable to see herself as separate and distinct from her identity as Gabe’s wife or even from Gabe himself. Pippa’s identity is intertwined with Gabe’s—she sees Gabe as “a hero,” and she says of herself, “I am a helper” (2). She sees her primary purpose as supporting him, although over the course of the novel, it becomes clear to her that she is actually the one who holds the family together. This is something that her family has recognized from the start; when Pippa comments that she couldn’t handle the trauma of seeing someone die, Kat replies, “I’d say if anyone could cope with it, it’s you” (45). By the end of the novel, one year later, Pippa has made great steps toward recognizing her worth and contributions to the relationship, and she sees that her identity within it is different than she thought.