81 pages • 2 hours read
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Belonging and fitting in is an important motif throughout the text that illustrates Belly’s feelings of insecurity and how it has shaped her self-perception. Belly has always struggled with feelings of being left out or like she does not quite belong within Steven, Jeremiah, and Conrad’s group: “It was the feeling different, like an outsider, that I hated. [...] I wanted to be just like them” (26). Being both the youngest and the only girl, Belly’s sense of not fitting in lingers. Even as Belly matures, she finds that her maturation causes greater distance between her and the boys as they try to navigate their feelings for each other.
Belly often finds herself drawing comparisons to others and coming up short. When she brings her friend, Taylor, to Cousins Beach one summer, she rationalizes her choice by explaining: “I thought that by bringing her I’d be proving that I was a pretty one too. See? See, I’m like her; we are the same. But we weren’t, and everybody knew it” (67). Bringing Taylor only amplifies Belly’s feelings of insecurity and sense of not fitting in because Belly does not see herself as “pretty” like Taylor. Her feelings of jealousy even cause her to lash out at Taylor after Belly discovers Taylor and Steven kissing: ‘“I didn’t think you’d ever act so—so…’ [.
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