Adam feels happy and normal after his call with Robyn, but he still worries that she is just messing with him and that he’ll lose her. He decides to do the List. He writes that Robyn is his one true love; that if he is courageous and normal, then Robyn will love him back; and that he believes it is possible to get “fixed” and that somehow his mom will get help too. He also writes that Ben Stones is still his best friend but maybe the guys in Group are his friends, too. He knows that his mom, dad, Brenda, and Sweetie all love him and worry about him; that lying is sick, though everybody lies; and that thresholds are becoming a bigger problem, even at school and at home. He thinks he’s a coward but resolves to work on that.

His last List item explains his compulsions. He writes, “I believe there are times that my molecules are nuclear and that they’ll explode, raining radiation on all those I love unless I execute certain cleansing and clearing rituals, but I’m going to work on that too” (134). After finishing the List, he feels relieved, but he also hates confronting reality.